7 Tips to Keep Connected to Your Writing When Life Happens
Finding practical ways to keep your writing alive when life’s disruptions pull you away.
Sometimes life just happens.
You get a phone call, read an update from a friend, or receive news, and your world shifts. Sometimes it’s a significant loss, or a sudden one. Maybe the passing of a family friend, the loss of a job or a pet, or the end of a friendship.
Other times, the loss isn’t sudden, but subtle or cumulative, like being freshly aware of your own mortality or exhausted by the state of the world.
Even smaller changes, like a modification in your routine, having house guests, or an ill child can impact you and your writing flow.
The effects on your nervous system are real.
This often translates into a disruption to your writing.
When you sit down to write, it may feel impossible, like you're humming at a strange frequency. Your attention is fleeting, and you're distracted by tangential things. You might find yourself spending long stretches of time wondering which notebook to use or which blog posts to read to help you get re-sparked.
And, if you're anything like me, you might stay away from writing all together. You keep your pen capped, your notebook closed, and your laptop in sleep mode.
Having a break may well be needed, especially if the disruption is major. And in my own experience and that of working with clients, the problem is that sometimes that break spills over.
Days of not writing can turn into weeks, months, or longer.
Suddenly, that initial interruption unconsciously opens the door for resistance. And then that finds a foothold, creating a wedge between you and your writing.
So, what is not the answer?
Like most things, the answer is not simply trying to power through, to put your shoulder to the grindstone, or to "just do it." Just sit down and make yourself write. Messages like these are everywhere. You probably had them imprinted on you years ago by many well-meaning, adults who loved you; and you have them reinforced all the time now through popular culture and memes on Instagram.
Even if you could manage to do it, you probably wouldn’t be accessing your best work. What’s more, messages like these are designed to support the current capitalist structure. That system, the one that sees workers as disposable entities to be pushed to the extreme to extract maximum productivity, continues to do so much harm to people and our planet…
So, no thank you.
What to try instead
If you experience some type of upset or life situation and you notice it's impacting your relationship with your writing, try the following:
Remember You and Your Writing Are in a Relationship: Just like any other relationship, your writing can be impacted by a sudden change, loss, or other unexpected development in your life. Understand that your writing will be affected, and that that's okay. It doesn’t mean you’re an awful writer, it just means you’re human. Acceptance of where you're at and what's happened is always key to moving forward.
Grieve If You Need To: Acceptance of where you're at also means recognizing what you're feeling and allowing it space. Grief at the loss of a relationship, an unexpected change, or even an interruption to your daily routine is valid. It helps to name and honor what you might be feeling and how it might be impacting your writing.
Adjust Your Writing as Needed: Making changes to what you write can help you keep in touch with your writing relationship during this time of shifting or uncertainty. Try changing your focus or genre, just for the time being. For example, if your writing project is a memoir, maybe switch to creative writing prompts. Making up stories for short bursts can be a welcome change of pace.
Or, say, if you're working on a creative nonfiction essay, try writing a poem, a piece of flash fiction or a six-word memoir instead.
Try Warm-Up Exercises: As an alternative to working on your current writing project or topic area, you could try what I call low stakes writing warmups. This can include list-making exercises, such as jotting down all the words you can think of in three minutes that start with the letter D. Or making a list of everything you can think of that is purple. Having the chance to sit down and write something easy-peasy can be a welcome relief, and a bit of fun!
Reduce Your Writing Time and Your Expectations: If you normally write for 30 minutes, aim for 15. If you usually write for 15, try five.
And keep your expectations low. If you're doing free writing or creative prompts, tell yourself that you're just hanging out with your writing and not to expect epic scenes that will become crystallized ideas or Pulitzer Prize-winning pieces. If you’re writing snapshots from a trip abroad, for example, expect that you might have some of the key details in place, but the depth of the memories might not be what you usually write.
Try Editing Shorter Pieces: Although, I wouldn't use this as an opportunity to edit that novel you've had sitting in a drawer for a few years, it can be fun to pull out previous prompt responses or a short story or a passage you wrote a few weeks ago to revise it.
The editing process uses a different part of your brain than first-draft generative or intuitive writing. Sometimes reviewing passages for grammar, sentence structure, or rhetorical device usage can be calming and soothing to the left side of your brain.
Read: If nothing else feels good, pull out a novel and use your writing time to read. Annie Proulx said, “Writing comes from reading, and reading is the finest teacher of how to write.”
Find delight in how a favorite author or a new-to-you writer tells their stories. This will keep you connected to your own writing and let you experience the joy of being surrounded by words.
You'll know when you're ready to shift back toward your regular relationship you’re your writing. Your energy will return, your creativity will light up, and you’ll feel the spark of ideas revisit you. Your writing sessions will again feel fulfilling, and you can be ready to welcome yourself back as you set sail with your writing once more.