Sharing Your Content and the Risk of Bad Feedback
Four things to do if you get a mean or offensive comment on your content
Have you ever gotten a mean or malicious comment on a blog or social media post? If you haven’t, you probably know someone who has.
Unfortunately, there are far too many examples of this these days. People are feeling frayed or overwhelmed, and the erosion of communication standards plus the anonymity of the internet means that well, it happens a lot.
And this - this possibility that someone might take offense or take their anger out online - is sometimes enough to make authentic business owners feel queasy about sharing content or otherwise posting on social media as a way to market their business. They can drag their feet on creating new posts, or, worse, avoid posting or creating content on social media all together.
WHEN IT HAPPENED TO ME
One time, seeing a notification, I glanced at my phone. Oh, there’s a comment I missed! I thought. My excitement quickly turned cold as I read it. “Why is THIS the first F-ING (she didn’t abbreviate) thing I see on my feed when I open it up?? Blocked and reported as spam.”
Whoa.
Wow.
My heart started hammering. It didn't matter that she wasn’t asking me about something I had anything to do with. That she didn’t know me. That she wasn’t reacting to an opinion I shared or even to content in the post itself (which was ironically about sharing content.)
None of it mattered. I still felt stunned.
I stepped slowly back in my office, carefully blocked her and reported the comment. I could still feel my nervous system jangly throughout the afternoon.
TWO TRUTHS
First, showing up on social media or elsewhere with your voice, speaking your truth, can upset people. It happens all the time, someone reads a post, then spews angry or nasty remarks or fires off an opposing opinion.
Words are powerful, and the sheer anger or vileness can be unsettling. That can make the whole idea of putting your content out there feel somewhat dangerous, risky.
What’s also true, and I know you likely know this already , is that someone else’s reaction to your content says more about them than it does about you. Your words, chosen with love and care, are your message, and you have a right to share your words with the world.
Someone else’s opinion about your message is their responsibility, not yours.
STAYING AWAY AS A STRATEGY…
The fear of generating anger or nasty comments keeps many coaches, healers or other creative entrepreneurs from showing up fully as themselves. Sometimes they water down their opinions or go over a post a dozen times before hitting publish, making sure they didn’t say anything too controversial or that might be thought of in the wrong way.
Sometimes they avoid posting on social media all together.
The end result, in either case, is they don’t show up with their passion or their message in support of their business.
BUT WHAT IF YOU THOUGHT ABOUT IT ANOTHER WAY?
It’s like if something happens while you’re in line at the deli and someone explodes at you. It’s upsetting for sure, and unpleasant. But in the end, you wouldn’t modify when you went to the deli so you’d be less likely to meet this person or someone like her or him again, would you?
Or you wouldn’t avoid going to the deli in the future, would you?
WHAT WOULD YOU DO?
If you want to connect with your ideal clients through your content and on social media, having a plan of what you would do if this happened can provide your mind with a sense of comfort and control.
Here are four steps that can help with that:
GROUND
Find a quiet moment and move into yourself. Ask for all you need in the moment – safety, gentleness, compassion, love. Whatever it is you need, ask for it to be given and then feel the vibration of that wash over you.
ACT
Take any appropriate action needed - such as deleting the comment on your blog or reporting the comment or blocking the person on the associated platform. In short, you what's needed to keep your blog page or your account secure and feeling how you want it to feel.
REMEMBER
Then, once that's done, spend a few minutes to sink into your why. Take time to recall why you’re doing what you’re doing on this earth. What is calling you to post about your work, life or business in the first place?
For me, it’s about helping other coaches, healers or creatives uncover their most authentic selves in their marketing and business. My work is about helping people become at home in themselves. Remembering this is what re-orients me to my purpose, which is so important after something like this can knock your breath away.
LOVE
This is where you get to think of that person from another perspective, as someone who might have had, right or wrong, any number of reasons they did what they did. Double down on love. Send a strong dose of loving kindness their way. May they be well. May they be happy. May they be at peace.
When you share your content or post on social media having a plan in place if you were to get a rude or upsetting comment on your posts can help you be braver as you start to connect more with your ideal clients. Centering into yourself, taking the right actions, remembering your why and choosing to love despite the situation - doing all these things offer you a powerful way to re-orient your own energy in a positive way.
Then you can get back to doing the work of your soul.