Maybe you've been putting a lot of effort in creating and sharing content. Maybe you've been extra committed to showing up on social media. Perhaps you check your Instagram or Facebook posts for likes and comments frequently.

You're seeing some engagement, sometimes. But to be honest, despite your efforts, it's not translating into new clients.

It's hard to know if what you're doing is right. Should you keep it up and maybe increase your post frequency? Expand to other platforms? Do something else entirely?

There could be a lot of things going on. For example, you need to be visible in your marketing, be consistent, show up as yourself, and create resonant content.

There is another thing, though, that could be having an impact. It's the largely unexamined assumption in marketing for coaches, healers and other creative entrepreneurs that says: high engagement equals more clients.

There are several problems with this premise, but one of the most fundamental - and what I'm going to talk about today - is that it's built on you having a transactional relationship with your marketing.

What Kind of Relationship Is It?

In psychology, transactional relationships are ones that are built on reciprocation.

In other words, if I do this, you do that.

Most employer-employee relationships are transactional. So are many service based interactions. For example, I show up for my job and fulfil the job requirements, then my employer gives me a paycheck. I call an Uber drive and she takes me to my destination, then I pay the charge.

By their nature, transactional relationships tend not to last. When the need is met or if one party in the relationship doesn't hold up their end of the agreement, the bond is broken. Both parties operate based on how they benefit the most.

This is what a lot of mainstream marketing approaches are built upon.

Marketing Transactionally

Having a transactional relationship with your marketing means you expect your business to grow as a direct result of a particular marketing activity.

Do any of these strategies sound familiar?

• Offer a Free Coaching Call. Get the Sale

• Create a Great Facebook Group. Get New Clients

• Use #Hashtags. Get Big Wins on Instagram

• Show You’re an Expert. Write a Book

They should. I found these, and many versions of the same, in a simple Google search.

The problem with all of these strategies is that despite the overt or implied intent, none of these by themselves will necessarily lead to you getting more clients. Some might invite more engagement. But that doesn't necessarily translate into more clients either.

So, when you approach marketing transactionally what happens when you put all this effort into doing particular activities and you don't get the clients or sales you were hoping for? It can be really frustrating. Really. And deflating. Maybe you decide to switch tactics, and it still doesn't work.

You start to wonder: I'm doing all this, why aren't I seeing the results I expected? What's wrong here?

Instead of changing strategies, it might be time to change your relationship with your marketing.

Marketing Relationally

Relational relationships are the opposite of transactional relationships. Good examples of relational relationships are parent-child, teacher-student, or partner-spouse relationships. Both sides are willing to do things and even make sacrifices for the sake of the relationship.

They're concerned with the needs, wants and point of view of the other and are meant to be longer-term. All of this, along with a certain amount of willingness to give without expectation of an equal return, forms part of what makes these bonds stronger and harder to break.

What if you were to stop treating your marketing transactionally and look at it relationally instead?

If you approached marketing your business as if you were it in for the long haul, to develop your relationship, instead of what it could give you, how you market (and how you feel about marketing) would probably be markedly different.

For example, you might spend time:

• Creating a sustainable marketing schedule - so you put the plans and support in place so you can be consistent in showing up for your marketing

• Sharing content freely and often, even or perhaps especially when it's not tied to a promotion

• Being willing to invest in the long term - continuing to blog or make videos or share your podcast even when you aren't getting a response

• Getting to know your potential audience more - trying to write or teach things that will really help them, regardless of them signing up

• Showing up for the webinars - even if you only have one or two people signed up, and doing them again and again

• Asking people to share your content - so you can help more people read your message - and freely sharing others' content that resonates

• And so many more things

If you approach marketing in this way, you’re much more likely to be able to show up with consistency and love. You’re more likely to be able to invite connection without all that icky, adverse energy. You’re better able to show up as you, the real you. And, you’ll better be able to continue showing up even when initially it doesn’t look like you’re getting results.

And, if you're reading this list and don't find you're doing these things. Don't worry, you may currently have a more transactional relationship with your marketing.

First, you're not alone. It's so common, in part because the predominant marketing to coaches, healers and other creative entrepreneurs wants you to believe if you do this (i.e. take this course, follow this tactic, buy my method) it will translate into you getting more clients and growing your business.

The good news is your relationship with your marketing, like relationships with your partner, friends or colleagues, can be changed.

Building Relationships for The Long-Term

The truth is it takes time to grow a business and to grow an audience. It takes care and attention and time to cultivate trust in potential clients. And, it takes principles like authenticity and connection and consistency and visibility in your marketing to support all of that.

If you want to enjoy the benefits of a long term, stronger connection with your business and marketing try shifting your lens. Instead of looking at marketing as something you have to do to get what you want, try seeing it more relationally and see how your relationship improves.

Photo by Bonnie Kittle on Unsplash