Last week I wrote about reasons people unsubscribe from mailing lists and what it might mean (and what it doesn’t) when it happens to you. I wrote about that because it’s important, and I’ve seen how fear of unsubscribes can change how coaches, healers and other creatives show up for their business or how they present themselves in their marketing.

There’s something deeper in that piece that I want to dive into this week.

And it’s about control.

What might this look like?

• Have you ever tamped down your message in a way to seem more palatable to a wider number of people? (Normal text, indented for whole list bullet list)

• Do you find yourself writing emails using timid language, or dull or hyped up or overly professional terms that sound nothing like you sound when you are speaking passionately about your work?

• Do you notice you don’t like to highlight your niche or you shy away from clearly stating who you help and what you help them with because you’re afraid of turning people away from your business?

• Do you only send out one or two communications about your offers because you’re worried about communicating too often and unknowingly not give people enough space and time to consider them?

If you have ever found yourself struggling with any of these things, you might be unconsciously viewing your marketing as a way to control outcome.

Marketing as Manipulation: A False Premise

It’s no wonder so many people do this without realizing it. So many traditional approaches to marketing are about trying to establish control over an outcome. In looking at a few current headlines, it doesn’t take much to see unwritten assumptions underneath:

• 100+ Opt-In Headlines to get More Email Subscribers

• Get New Clients Fast

• How to Get a Six Figure Coaching Business

The assumption is - if you do these specific things, you’ll get something in return. That something is more subscribers, more clients, more money, etc. If you look around at most of the marketing techniques directed at coaches, healers or other creatives trying to build their business, you’ll see many examples of this.

The truth is, that assumption is built upon a false premise: manipulation.

The premise is that you can control the outcome. That somehow, you can make (manipulate) someone do something. It sounds like this - that if you write a killer email, craft dynamite sales page or an amazing freebie, or dazzle people with an innovative webinar, you can somehow “make” someone subscribe to your list, hire you, pay you a lot of money, etc.

Which, if you step back and think about it, is kind of crazy.

Things You Can't Control

You know deep in your heart you can’t make someone hire you.

You can’t make them sign up to your program, your list, your class. These are all things you actually have very little control over.

And yet, it’s the basis of so much of the marketing advice out there. It’s why so much of the marketing advice can feel icky or be hard to implement. It’s why there’s such friction and why so many coaches, healers and creative entrepreneurs loathe to market. Yes, there are things that you can do to market authentically.

At the end of the day, though, the choice to subscribe, read, follow, sign up or hire is theirs.

Let that truth sink in and see how it feels. Once I realized this about marketing authentically, I could feel my whole body relax.

Things You Can Control

I know you know this already, obviously - the only thing you can control is yourself.

You get to decide how you approach your marketing and what you bring to the table. You control whether you show up as you, the real you, in your marketing, or not. You get to choose how you're going to view your reaching out to potential clients and your audience.

As you build your business, there are things you can do to help create better connections between you and your potential clients. There are ways you can create and extend better invitations. There are ways you can show up that help cultivate trust.

These things aren’t built on the idea of marketing as a means of manipulation. They’re built on the idea that marketing is a means of connection. A method of offering support, nourishment or service through your marketing. A way of inviting people in to discover if you might be the one to help them.

What if, instead of trying to control the outcome of your marketing, you were able to show up, authentically, truly, as yourself?

What if, instead of trying to make someone do something in response to your marketing, your marketing became a beautiful way to make a connection?

How do you think marketing your business would change for you?

Photo by Birger Strahl on Unsplash