Your Marketing: What's Needed When Things Don't Work Out
When you're building your business (and even when you've been in business for a while) it's completely normal that things don’t work out.
Maybe you launch a program, or a class, and it doesn't fill up. Maybe not enough participants signed up to even have it go forward, and you have to issue refunds.
Perhaps you start posting video content regularly and no one comments or engages with your work. Perhaps you host a free webinar and only a few people sign up.
Or maybe you've finally started emailing your list regularly and you get a series of unsubscribes.
All of these things can happen and more.
And - it can be painful when this happens.
It’s just hard.
Your business is your soul’s calling. You’ve invested a lot in it – a lot of time, love, care or money - and you want so badly for it to grow. You want new clients – both so you can help them and so your business can sustain you.
And yet, here you are.
Two Kinds of Responses
Earlier this spring, there was this male robin outside our front window. It sees itself in the glass, thinks it's another male bird in its territory, and goes in to attack. It flies up, pecks at the glass fruitlessly, drops back down to the ledge. Only to repeat the whole thing a few seconds later. For days it kept pounding and hitting the window. Finally, its efforts lessened and at a certain point, it gave up and flew away.
Watching this unfold, I was reminded of when coaches, healers and other creatives experience these types of challenges or when things don't work like they expect them to.
I typically see two different types of responses.
Pushing Harder
The first reaction is to pitch into greater and more determined action.
For example, when a setback happens, emotions may come up, but they push right past them. They brush things off and keep going. Being able to pick yourself up and try again is an important aspect of trying things out, and a certain amount of this is necessary, of course. When done as an unconscious reaction to a negative situation, however, it isn't helpful.
Trying harder and harder, they assume the problem is something they're not doing well enough, so they keep pushing.
After a time, though, they end up feeling frayed or burnt out, and that leads to frustration or a pulling back from their business, showing up just a little bit less each time.
Falling into a Tailspin
The other kind of response to when things don't work out is to fall into collapse.
For example, they’re so hurt and disappointed with low viewing numbers, they stop doing FB lives all together – even though it was something easy they started doing that felt fun. Or for example, when someone unsubscribes from their blog, they feel so low or dejected, they skip writing for a week or two or more.
After a time, this feeling leaves them feeling distant from their business, which usually makes them feel worse.
The Missing Ingredient
While both of these responses are common to setbacks in your business and marketing, there’s something important that's often missing – compassion.
Compassion??
Yes. It's compassion that unlocks the key to learning from the situation you are facing. It also lets you keep going vs. falling into collapse, running away or muscling through without any joy whatsoever.
Compassion shows up most clearly (or not) in what you say to yourself when something doesn’t go the way you wanted it to in your marketing.
For example, when you have a sales conversation and it doesn’t result in a new client, what do you take this to mean? Does it mean you’re a terrible at sales or your business will never succeed if you can’t land a client?
Or does it mean that talking about your business to potential clients in a way that helps them is a skill to be learned and practiced over time? And that with fewer sales conversations happening, it’s no wonder when one doesn’t go well, it feels so hard.
When someone unsubscribes from your email list, what happens? Do you start worrying about not offering enough value to your readers? Do you think you’re emailing people too much or assume you just don’t know how to write engaging content?
Or do you tell yourself, it’s ok. There are many reasons why people unsubscribe. Do you remind yourself that when you’re starting to build your email list, every unsubscribe can feel disproportionately impactful? And that when your business starts to get some traction and more people start signing up for your list, you'll be better able to feel the natural ebb and flow of subscribers while seeing overall growth?
When you respond to yourself with compassion and understanding you open a doorway to learning, which is what so much of effective marketing and business building is about.
Invite in Compassion
Here are a few things you can do to invite in compassion when you encounter a marketing or business setback.
Take several deep breaths
Emotions like sadness, disappointment, or frustration arising out of any situation can trigger physiological stress. Your body may feel constricted, tight, heavy. Taking a few deep breaths can help create some space in your body, calm your nervous system and help you open up to a wider perspective. Once you've grounded into your body through your breath, try these next steps.
Talk to yourself
Tell yourself, it's ok. What has happened and how you are feeling about what's happened is completely normal for a business that is still developing. Remember that when you have a bigger audience, more clients, a more steady influx of revenue, etc., things will feel differently. It might be hard to imagine that now, but you can remind yourself of other times when things felt hard or disappointing and in time your perspective shifted.
Ask for witnessing (but not advice)
When you experience a business disappointment, it's incredibly powerful to have someone to talk about it with. Someone who will listen with compassion and hear how you're feeling. Unfortunately, there is a lot of shame around business development. So many people think their business should be farther along than they are, and sometimes it feels like you're the only one feeling this way.
Having someone you can talk to about what happened and how you're feeling about it can be freeing. So, find a supportive friend, colleague or business group to share in, but be clear you’re not looking for advice. At this point, you do not need advice or what you could have/should have/might do differently next time. You can always come back to that later (see the next point.)
At first though, it’s important to leave space for you to compassionately process what happened. And, if you’re feeling to tender to share, writing about your situation as if you're sharing can also be powerful.
Get some help, if you need it (but later)
Once you’ve had a chance to process what happened and respond compassionately to yourself, it could be helpful to get some perspective on what might have happened and some things you could try differently next time. This could come from a colleague, mentor, coach or someone who’s been in business longer than you.
And, remember, there may be nothing to change at all. So much of what can feel like is “not working” in business and marketing is simply due to the truth that it takes time to build and grow a business.
After you've given yourself a whole bunch of compassion and understanding for how you're feeling and deeply accepted the situation, you'll be better able to turn back to what happened and truly see what you might do differently next time. Maybe you could give yourself more time to promote? More reminders? Clearer messaging? Maybe you can share your newsletter sign up in new groups or in different arenas to grow your list?
There may well be many things you can try differently. In fact, there are so many things that factor into growing and marketing your business effectively, it will rarely just be "one thing"
When you encounter disappointment and you offer yourself compassion and acceptance, you'll be much better resourced to see what's possible. More importantly, you’ll be able to return to your business with your heart full, ready to continue building bridges to and connections with those in this world that need your help.