Last week I wrote about how many coaches, healers and creative entrepreneurs have transactional relationships with marketing their business. It’s important because this type of relationship often leads to disappointment and frustration with marketing. It's also what contributes to that sense of just wanting to give up. In the article, I suggested you develop a relational relationship with marketing your business. How you market (and how you feel about marketing) will be dramatically different.
There’s something deeper in that article that I want to explore this week.
How, exactly, can you develop a more relational relationship with your marketing?
To delve in a bit deeper, I offer a road map based on teachings on how to find more authenticity and satisfaction in personal relationships. In my experience working with clients, the parallels offer clear and specific guidance as to how you can start transforming your relationship with your marketing today.
It's All About You
It's the bedrock of relationship teachings. You can't change your relationships without looking at yourself first. To improve your relationships, you need to learn about who you really are, the real you. You need to know what's most important to you and to be aware of your strengths, weaknesses, boundaries (or lack therof). You have to be transparent, authentic and vulnerable; you need to leave behind the limiting beliefs.
It's the same thing with your relationship with your marketing.
It all starts with you. Consider the following questions. Do you know why you're in business? Really? Are you clear about how you define success ?
Do you know what you're gifted at so you can bring that to your marketing? Are you authentic in your marketing? Do you have limiting beliefs like "Marketing is hard" or "I'm no good at marketing" that might be holding you back?
If anything in the questions tugged at you, it might be worth spending a little time with these questions, and your heart, to see what it is you’re bringing to your relationship with marketing.
Watch Your Assumptions
It's never a good idea to assume your best friend or partner should be able to read your mind or think your sister-in-law is deliberately trying to hurt you with her comments about parenting. Likewise, you shouldn’t assume that just because a launch doesn't work that your marketing is a failure. And don't surmise that because you don't get as much engagement as you'd like on your Facebook posts that your topics are missing the mark or that marketing on social media is a waste of time.
Staying open and curious to what might not be obvious is important. Even if you've been in business for a long time, you might have things to learn about marketing. Many things you assume to be true simply might not be.
Try Gratitude
There is lots of research showing how gratitude positively impacts relationships. Noticing and naming another’s qualities and the things you appreciate about them, not only strengthens the relationship, but it also generally makes it closer and more satisfying.
Focusing on what's wrong in the relationship has an opposite, corrosive effect.
It's the same thing with your relationship with your marketing. Constantly focusing on what's not working in your marketing is draining and makes it harder to show up and be consistent.
Ask yourself instead, what else can you appreciate about your marketing?
Have you shared a personal story that resonated with anyone? Did you have a strong connection with someone during Facebook group exchange? Did you enjoy the process of putting your last blog post together? Or making that YouTube video?
Does your marketing let you practice your communications skills or learn something new, like how to make a good yet inexpensive video? Do you get to write your blog post with your fountain pens, marking it up with Mildliners?
Just like in your other relationships, focusing on what’s right about and expressing appreciation for your marketing is like sprinkling it with magic.
Don't Try to Change the Other
It's one of the most common relationship mistakes people make. They think the relationship would be so much better if only their friend, partner or family member could change. So all their energy in the relationship is centered around hoping and wishing that person would be more romantic, fun, considerate, kind, or…whatever.
You know that's not good. And yet, people do the same thing with their marketing.
They wish they had a bigger email list. That more people read their emails. That more people signed up to your last campaign. That they more engagement. That they had more clients.
Of course it’s ok to wish for this, to want reach more people and have more clients. It’s ok to want to help people.
And yet, when all your energy gets tied up and focused on the future and how different you want it to be, you’re taken out of the present. When all you can see is that you’re not where you want to be, you miss the chance to celebrate what IS good about where you are now (see above!) and you’re less able to make effective decisions that can help you move toward a different reality.
Accepting your marketing and business exactly the way it is today, imperfectly perfect and still developing, is a powerful practice.
Discover What Makes You Both Feel Good
The premise of The Five Love Languages is that everyone experiences love in different ways. And knowing and understanding what makes your partner feel you really care has the power to transform and strengthen the relationship.
In authentic marketing, I believe everyone is born with a purpose and a unique set of talents, gifts and way of being in the world that’s imprinted on their soul. This genius is singular and forms a person’s divine essence. And when you use this genius in your marketing, reaching out to the world with your offering becomes much easier and more effective.
Do you hate writing? Well, who says you have to write a blog to create content? Maybe you love talking on video. You can do Facebook lives and leverage that for content to share. Are you a natural at reading oracle cards? You can combine a free card reading with your intake assessment and leave a unique stamp when you connect with people.
When you're using your gifts and talents, things feel easy, fun, and light. And, you’re more authentic.
Authenticity is magnetic.
When you’re authentic in your marketing, and freely sharing your essence, people can sense your genuineness and are more willing to trust you.
Developing a deep, relational relationship with your marketing is key feeling good about it. Take some advice from the relationship experts and apply it to your relationship with marketing. Start with looking at yourself, and then avoid making assumptions, practice gratitude, accept where you're at, and focus on what feels good.
You won’t believe how good it can get.