“I feel so behind!”
It’s something I regularly hear from some coaches, healers, and other creative entrepreneurs. They feel a lot of pressure to get their businesses up and running or to get the basics in place, so their business runs better.
Some of this feeling is born of a real desire to help and serve.
There are so many problems in the world today. So many people are hungry for help, desperate for a new way of being, hurting, shrinking back. And you look at what you know you can offer – things like transformative change, powerful coaching, profound care and healing, fresh perspective, kindness and compassion, space holding, creative respite, innovation.
It can be hard to wade through what can sometimes feel the slog of setting up your business fundamentals while people need your help.
You want to make a difference, and I get that. The urgency is real.
The Myth of ‘Just Do It’
But there's often something else at play when I hear people say they’re feeling behind. It’s a subtle (or not so subtle) pressure they put on themselves to “make it happen.” The prevailing culture - with its obsession with overnight sensations and its veneration of all things big and successful - has given the edict. If you want it, you need to ‘just do it!’ Make it happen. (Or if you're in the coaching world “manifest it.”)
And if you don’t (or can’t,) then the implication is there’s something wrong. Something to be fixed – sometimes with you, other times with your techniques, often with your mindset.
The real issue is there's little attention paid to the time, resources and care needed to build the fundamentals. And each individual’s previous business experience or skillset impacts that time even further.
There’s even less attention given to the amount of time it takes, once you hve the fundamentals in place, to build trust with your potential clients. This is even more true in a world too often overrun with some business owners looking to “make it.”
A Timetable Fabricated
The industrial revolution gave us a lot of things – the steam engine, the electric light bulb, and later the automobile. It also gave us the assembly line – where production (and profit) were increased, inputs harmonized and tasks routinized.
Things on an assembly line need to move along in a steady pace, and workers need to keep up, or the line gets bottle-necked. So there is the sense of being or keeping time in an assembly line – and this is all well for factories churning out standardized products.
It’s a less useful concept for creative pursuits.
And, there’s no more creative a journey than building your soul-based business. Having an invisible or pre-imagined timetable you need to meet along the way doesn’t help much. Often, in fact, it’s more than being unhelpful. It can, if left unchecked, leave you burned out, unmotivated, or worse.
(A word on goals – It feels right to make a distinction here. I’m not against having a goal, something to shoot for. Because that can anchor some people. And because each person is unique, and her soul journey is specific, it’s helpful if the goal is both realistic and lightly held.)
The Measure of a Relationship
Instead of seeing a timeline, where your business is plotted out against certain measures of success, I suggest a different measure. I see business building and marketing your business as being all about relationship.
The question to ask is not, “Am I on-time or behind?” but rather “Am I in good relationship with my business?”
You can assess where you’re at in much the same way you’d assess things in any relationship. By asking yourself - Do you give your business time? Do you tackle the tough stuff that needs attention, even if and when it's less glamorous?
Other questions you can ask are: Are you showing up, or asking for help when you need it? Do you know where your business is at on the development roadmap?
If you answered a resounding, full Yes! to these questions, I’m delighted. You’re in a wonderful place to keep developing, marketing and growing your business. And, if you are feeling a little unsure about some of any of these things, I have an invitation for you to help improve your relationship with your business.
Carve out time each day to spend time with the soul of your business. Plan to get to know it – its needs, its desires. Discern where you might need more clarity or could use help to see your business in a new light. Every day, ask what it most needs from you, and then work to give that.
Above all, please stop worrying about being behind. When you’re worried about being behind, you’re either looking ahead to see how far you have yet to go, or you’re looking behind us to assess how far you've gotten.
Instead, direct your energy to the present. See where you and your business are, right now. Today. Ask what you can do to improve your relationship with your business and do that thing.
Your business will thank you for it.
And, as you bring your gifts and talents forward through the strong foundation of your business, your future clients will too.
Photo by Osman Rana on Unsplash