In the Midst of the Unknowing

A reflection on change, authenticity and my work in the world

The beginnings of this post did not come easily. I tried three separate times today – each with a different topic – but the words didn’t flow. Even my tried-and-true spirit writing technique didn't work.

As I took a step back to look at why, I received an intuitive message. I was not being authentic with what I was trying to write, and it was weighing on my chest, like an x-ray apron, pressing the words down. There was something I needed to say instead. And I when inquired more, I knew it is time for me to say something aloud.

My business and work in the world are evolving.

In truth, I saw that a shift would be coming nearly four years ago now. But then it was too far away— a mountaintop shrouded in a gauzy mist؅— I didn't worry too much about it. At certain points during the past few years, I could sense a change growing closer, but I didn’t have clarity. The past six months have revealed that a realignment is well underway.

And, I still don't have a clear picture of what ‘next’ looks like.

I liken these past few months to being in a dark, underground cave. There are clues as to what's next - soft drips of water, the scent of dampness, the seep of calcite growth forming grooves on the walls that I can feel with my fingers - but I can't see the full shape of what things will look like yet.

For now, I know the barest of outlines. I will continue to write and share my words. I will continue to collaborate with women who want to write and tell their stories as well. I will continue to help those who want their creative voices heard – through their lives or in their work in the world.

That's what I know for now.

Oh, it's hard to write that. It’s so vague, and there is a part of me that wants to share all of this in a neat and tidy package with you. To tell the story about the shift and then present a well-orchestrated marketing moment of “Ta-da!” - that’s what we've all come to expect, after all. The announcement that says, ‘THIS is the new thing!’ And it’s all bright and shiny, replete with working links to fresh programs or a new website.

But I’m afraid I can’t do that.

Not only because the answers aren't there yet, but also because I continue to be called to lead with authenticity. And to me, that means in and through my marketing and content as well.

In my book, you don't get to sell authenticity but then keep things perfectly curated by hiding the mess behind the curtains like a pile of half-empty ceramic cereal bowls on a red Formica table.

Authenticity and honesty in your marketing are linked.

How you show up is who you are.

So, what changes will come from all this? I don’t yet know.

I do know, however, this process of deep listening - of putting one hand on my heart and the other out to explore the crevices of what I love and what I've been called to do in the world - takes kindness, patience, and so much love. And it's something I witness repeatedly in my work with others. As women say yes to being here for themselves, we get to witness the magic of transformation.

It is breathtaking.

If you're in the middle of your own transition, either with your work in the world or any other aspect of your life, I wish you well. May the winds of September cool your shoulders, lift your heart, and steady your feet on the journey back home to yourself.

Photo by Ehud Neuhaus on Unsplash