Leave Your Title at Home

When someone asks what you do, how do you respond? Do you search around for words to somehow explain how you do the beautiful, transformative work you do? If so, maybe you find the words and it just flows. Other times though, it can feel a bit like coughing – finding a word or two then being stopped, catching your breath and then starting again.

In these situations, a lot of people just rely on their title, saying “I’m a Life Coach.” “I’m a Yoga Teacher.” “I’m a Somatic Experiencing Practitioner.”

I hear it all the time.

Answering the question by sharing your 'job title,' though, has a few issues, some of which you maybe hadn't thought about before. I’m going to talk about that today and give you an alternative way to respond if asked.

Say what?

One issue is that people might just not be familiar with that title. Out here where I live, in the Midwest of the United States, a lot of folks haven’t heard of visibility coaching or somatic practices or energy reading, for example.

If you tell someone you’re a Life Coach for example, you’re likely to get a blank stare.

Even if you live somewhere where it’s more common and there are more people doing what you do, there are still many people you might meet who haven’t heard of the thing you’re doing.

Maybe the person you’re talking to won’t want to admit he or she doesn’t know what that is, so they’ll say something like “Oh, that’s nice.” and then they’ll change the subject. Or, perhaps, they might ask you “Say, what’s that?” Then, instead of talking about who you help and what you help them with, you’re put in a position of trying to explain what coaching (or somatic healing or crystal healing) is and what it isn’t. And that isn’t great either, because then you’re in a position of trying to explain an entire industry or modality on the spot, which is often hard to do in an interesting and inviting way.

Either way, it’s not a great position to be in because you don’t really get to connect with the person you’re speaking with in a way that helps them understand your work.

Oh yeah, I know about that…

Sometimes, people do recognize what you say in your title. But then, two things other things can happen.

The first is they have a misunderstanding about what it is that you do. For example, maybe they think coaching is the same thing as therapy or counseling, when it isn’t. Or they think intuitive energy reading is fortune telling, and that’s problematic. Depending on how much they share, you might not realize this in speaking with them.

The second thing that can happen in this situation is they make assumptions about you and your work. They might be incorrect assumptions, based on a misunderstanding, or they might be based on a prior experience or story or perspective that has nothing at all to do with the way you do your work at all. For example, maybe someone hears the word “crystal healer” and all they can see in their mind is a picture of someone swathed in scarves, wearing bell bottoms, and stuck in the 70s.

I once worked with a Life Coach as part of my benefits package when I worked for a global financial firm. I’d honestly forgotten about this experience until recently because the way this individual coached was so completely opposite of the way I’d been trained it didn’t seem remotely related. At the time, I thought that’s what life coaching was – filling out forms, setting a goal, working toward the goal, discussing progress. Of course, there are coaches that do coach in that way. And of course, that’s fine.

The point is that people are going to bring their assumptions about you and your work based on what they think they know about it when they hear your title.

If not my title, then what?

Instead of answering the question what do you do? with your title, answer it by sharing who you help and what you help them with. This is your authentic core statement, your marketing starting point.

So instead of saying “I’m a marketing coach.” and letting people be confused about what that actually is or make some assumptions about the way I must work, I say something else instead.

I say I help coaches, healers and other creative entrepreneurs who care about authenticity effectively market and grow their businesses. If this is something they are interested in learning more about – either because they identify with the person and might need this kind of help or they know someone else who might be – they’ll likely ask more about what I do.

And even if they don’t ask to know more, I feel better about knowing they have a solid idea of my work and aren’t confused or feeling bad somehow because they don’t understand.

Your Answer as an Invitation

The bigger issue with answering the question What do you do? with your job title is that the answer becomes all about you. Of course, on the surface, the question is about you. The person, presumably, wants to get to know you better. They’re interested in finding out more about you, so they ask.

But I see it this way.

Answering the question “What do you do?” is also beautiful way to connect with another person. To build a bridge. It’s an invitation to share a bit about yourself by saying what you’re trying to do in this world to help others.

And if you focus your answer on who you help and what things you help with that offers depth and can help create a connection – between you and this person, between your work and people who may need it.

That connection is worthy in its own right, and also, you never know where it will lead.

Photo by Ioana Scholler on Unsplash