Have you ever gotten a nasty comment on social media post? If you haven’t, you probably know someone who has.
There are lots of examples during our current polarized situation, and oh, add a pandemic in there with people feeling frayed and scared, and, well, it happens a lot.
And this possibility is sometimes enough to make heart-centered business owners feel queasy about posting on social media as a way to market their business. They can drag their feet on creating new posts, or worse, avoid posting on social media all together.
when it happened to me
A few months back, I glanced at my phone. Oh, there’s a comment I missed! I thought. My excitement quickly turned cold as I read it. “Why is THIS the first F-ING (she didn’t abbreviate) thing I see on my feed when I open it up?? Blocked and reported as spam.”
Whoa.
Wow.
My heart started hammering. Never mind that she wasn’t asking me about something I had anything to do with. That she didn’t know me. That she wasn’t reacting to an opinion I shared or even to in the post itself (which was ironically about sharing content.)
None of it mattered. I still felt stunned.
I stepped slowly back in my office, carefully blocked her, and reported the comment. I could still feel my nervous system jangly as I left my desk to make lunch.
Two Truths
First, showing up on social media with your voice, speaking your truth, can upset people. It happens all the time, someone reads a post, then spews angry or nasty remarks or fires off an opposing opinion. Words are powerful, and the sheer anger or vileness can be unsettling. That can make the whole idea of putting your content out there feel uncertain.
What’s also true is that someone else’s reaction to your post says way more about them than it does about you. Your words, chosen with love and care, are your message, and you have a right to share that message;
Someone else’s opinion about your message is their responsibility, not yours.
Staying Away as A Strategy…
The fear of generating anger or nasty comments keeps many coaches, healers or other creative entrepreneurs from showing up fully as themselves. Sometimes they water down their opinions or go over a post a dozen times before hit publish, making sure they didn’t say anything too controversial or that might be thought of in the wrong way.
Sometimes they avoid posting on social media all together. The end result, in either case, is they don’t show up with their passion or their message in support of their business.
But what if you thought about it another way?
It’s like if something happens while you’re in line at the deli and someone explodes at you. It’s upsetting for sure, and unpleasant. But in the end, you wouldn’t modify when you went to the deli so you’d be less likely to meet this person or someone like her or him again, would you?
Or you wouldn’t avoid going to the deli in the future, would you?
What Would You Do?
If you want to connect with your ideal clients on social media and staying away doesn’t make sense, having a plan of what you would do if this happened can provide your mind with some comfort and sense of control.
Here are four steps that can help with that; and what I did when it happened to me.
1. Ground
Move into yourself and ask for all you need in the moment – safety, gentleness, compassion, love. Whatever it is you need, ask for it to be given.
2. Act
Take any appropriate action on the platform (blocking, banning, reporting, etc.) to keep your page secure and feeling how you want it to feel.
3. Remember
Think of your why – why you’re doing what you’re doing on this earth. What is calling you to post about your work, life or business in the first place?
For me, it’s about helping other coaches, healers or creatives be brave in their marketing and making their businesses real. It’s about helping people become at home in themselves. Remembering this is what re-orients me to my purpose, which is so important after something like this knocks your breath away.
4. Love
This is where you get to think of that person from another perspective, as someone who might have had, right or wrong, any number of reasons they did what they did. Double down on love. Send a strong dose of loving kindness their way. May they be well. May they be happy. May they be at peace.
If you decide to engage with social media having a plan in place if you were to get a rude or upsetting comment on your posts can help. Centering into yourself, taking the right actions on the channel, remembering your why and choosing to love despite the situation offers you a powerful countering process.
And then, you can get back to doing the work of your soul.