Understand how your beliefs impact your creative and entrepreneurial potential
So many of the things we grow up understanding as “rules” are simply whatever the dominant power structure has put into place and built systems around to reinforce the current social structure.
These get handed down to us, largely without question. One day, if you're lucky, you wake up and realize (either on your own or with the help of a wise someone else) “Waaaaaiittt, what? That's not actually true, is it?"
Do you want to be a writer or a business/marketing person?
Recently, one of the “rules” I was carrying around came to light. I discovered I had a belief that I needed to somehow choose between being a writer or being someone who helped people gain clarity in their business and work in the world.
Along with that, I thought I had to choose between being a sort of intuitive-artist type or someone who did business stuff in a corporate manner. Objectives and return on investment required, black suit optional.
I wasn’t aware of this consciously (if I did I would have seen how untrue it was) but that was the energy.
There is no choice
Luckily, with help, I was able to see the truth: there is no choice I have to make. I understand this now – not just intellectually, but as an energy, thought, and body knowing.
I don’t have to choose one or the other because it's all my choice.
For my work in the world, I (and you too) get to answer these three questions:
• What do I love to do?
• Who do I love to help with that?
• And how do I love to do it?
It's really that simple.
But, because our minds have developed all these guardrails to seek and create certainty, safety, and belonging, it feels way more complicated.
Picture this
A little girl is outside playing on a summer day, sun shining. You see her running through crisp, yellow sheets drying on a clothesline. She skips over to a swing set and plops down on the scabby grass. Soon she starts arranging faded plastic blocks in front of her. Then, she leaps up to grab a few clovers, a fistful of grass, and a hidden blossom of violets.
She starts placing all her treasures in a circle.
Then you notice an adult-type person swinging open the wooden gate and coming into the backyard. This person sees the little girl and asks, "What are you doing?"
The little girls laughs. "I'm having a birthday party!"
Then you see this adult-person lean in close and say "Oh, yes! You could use that rock over there for a cake. That's round.”
She goes on, “Maybe the sheets could be the doorway to your house, and people can come into the party that way. What can we use for drinks?" After a minute, the adult claps her hands “I know! I can turn on the hose. What if we went ahead and—”
And so on.
Maybe that little girl would keep playing without really paying the person much attention. Maybe she would turn to do something else, like climb up on the swing or hang on the side of the fence, watching the husky play next door.
Or maybe, depending on herself and perhaps who that adult is, she’d nod her head and stand up. She might accept the paper cups the adult gives her or follow her to the hose to fill them…
Your mind is that adult. It’s just brimming with predetermined, cheerfully helpful ideas.
It wants to tell you how need to be. How you need to write, market your business, and do pretty much any other fun thing that bubbles up.
How these “rules” look
The belief that I had to choose to be one thing or another seems a little silly in hindsight. But that’s the thing, unless we’re looking for these unexamined standards, we can’t see them.
For those who want to write
What might it look like when you’re responding to a so-called rule in your writing life?
Maybe you’ve just had a great writing experience and wrote something fun in response to a writing prompt. You mind may immediately try to make it into something—
This is the start of a great novel. This is most definitely a poem. This would make an outstanding personal essay,
—before you've even had a chance to spend time and play with it a bit more. What if you don’t know what it could possibly be yet? And what’s more, what if you don’t need to know now?
Another thing that might happen is you might not even let yourself write unless you have a predetermined purpose. So, you spend time and energy thinking about what to write instead of and before you actually write—
I'm going to create a blog. I'm going to write and submit a short story. I'm going to draft a novel.
The wrestle and energy gets directed at trying to figure out the end before you begin.
Another common “rule” that shows up for writers is a belief that the only truthful way to write is to have a daily writing ritual. And it looks like _____ minutes or _______ words a day. Or perhaps a less frequent, but no less consistent, routine like _______ minutes/words every Tuesday morning at 7. And then, unless or until you can adhere, your energy and time gets focused on compliance instead of the joy of writing.
The thing is none of these beliefs are true.
You don’t have to know what a piece of writing is right away. You don’t have to have a project established to write and grow in your writing. And you don’t have to have a specific writing routine established to be a writer.
For those who want to share their work or art with the world
And what might it look like when you’re responding to a so-called rule in your business life?
It might look like having multiple websites, ventures, or storefronts and struggling to keep them all updated and straight. Perhaps you think you can't combine all the things you love into a single business, website, or identity because they're just all too different. Or maybe you haven’t developed an online presence yet because you’re stuck trying to figure out how to market your art, your energy healing, you coaching, your energy practice, or your music.
Maybe you’re hopping around in your business and marketing but your focus is always on what other people are doing, taking their solutions, trying their suppliers, software, programs, branding elements because it seems to be working for them. And you subconsciously believe that you don’t know business, or you can’t figure out marketing and sales.
Or perhaps you’re not spending much time at all on your business. You’re looking to make time for it, but everything else always seems to take a priority. I could be because you’re unconsciously believing that you need to be more _________ (efficient, organized, on top of it, savvy, brave, extroverted, put together, or connected and so on) to build a successful business.
The truth is none of these beliefs are true either.
All the work you want to share with the world can fit together in one business because it already fits together, inside you. You can figure out marketing in a way that works for you – it’s just connection. And you can build your business from exactly where you are – right now.
You don’t have to be any different than you already are.
<3<3<3
Breaking Free
The ‘rules’ underlying your writing, your business or your life are simply ways of being that you've picked up during your lifetime and/or have had them handed down to you generationally. Sometimes they are fantastically useful and joyful! Other times, they can cause you to feel stuck or constrained.
When you start to question your beliefs, you begin the work of breaking free.
What rules are you going to question this week?
Photo by Irina Iriser on Unsplash
Break Free and Grow
When you regularly write and receive supportive feedback in community, you expand and grow.
If you’re interested in writing or the written word, consider joining me for this 10-week online writing group starting in September. You can dedicate time to your writing, explore topics that you care about, and uncover your unique voice. With two timing options available, you can connect with others and offer and receive support in a kind, nurturing environment. Designed for writers of all abilities and interests and limited to eight participants.
If you’re ready to write together, click here for more information.