What a good connection to your writing looks like
Your writing and your creative work in the world are not independent of you. You have a relationship with them, in much the same way you have other partnerships in your life—with a parent, a partner or a colleague. Some connections feel nourishing, others not so much.
And, although all relationships ebb and flow, grow and change, and need different things at different times, their basic needs are always the same – kindness, good communication, a willingness to work through difficulties, and so on.
The same is true with your partnership with your writing, with those words or that work you want to bring into the world. Kindness is one of the biggest things people struggle with in their writing. We all have an inner critic, and it seems writers have some fierce ones. If you critique every phrase that emerges on the page, writing will not feel joyful; it will feel dreary. And, despite the longing you have to put your story on paper, you’ll draw back.
Likewise, freedom thrives in a good creative partnership. If you come to writing or your work with a whole set of rules, some conscious and many unconscious, you’ll stifle your inner spirit. Although rules seek to provide your mind with the certainty it craves, your inner artist knows there is no one single way to create – the only way to write is the way that you naturally write, the way that best lets your unique voice blossom on the page.
Your writing also needs your support, your time.
No, there’s not a set amount of time you need to write every day or even every week, but like a friendship where one only calls last minute when other plans fall through, your writing will feel neglected. Your work deserves your support.
And your compassion. Your writing needs you to let it be what it is, when it is, and how it is in the moment. Yes, you can understand that there may be ways to make things clearer or deeper, but you can recognize that at its core there is goodness.
And you need your own compassion too. Life gets in the way of writing sometimes. Sometimes there’s so much pain or hurt or neediness in your orbit that you can’t settle to create. Giving yourself kindness and grace rather than beating yourself up keeps you soft and open toward your work.
And finally, your relationship with your creative work needs a willingness to let go of mistakes. This is true at the technical level, where you embrace the idea of the first draft, giving yourself permission to write really badly. And it’s true as well if you realize that maybe you and your writing don’t have the best of connections right now.
The desire to bring your work and your story into the world doesn’t leave you.
It’s a yes that continues to whisper as you close your eyes against a midnight sky or as you flutter awake to a cold sunrise over a snowy bank. You simply need to seek to build a loving relationship with your work, to trust your inner knowing, and let yourself be led.
You never know exactly in what star-strewn place you’ll find yourself.
PS – The idea popped in yesterday that I’d love to do a writing gathering on the solstice, so we can bring our writing and our intuition into communion with the energies of the day. Eeep, I’m doing it! I’ll send something out about it tomorrow so you can take a peek and sign up if you’d like!